Are you tired of not being able to understand the supposed words coming out of your children’s mouths?

Do they say mysterious verbs or nouns of uncertain origins?

Have you heard things like “Bae, that’s so on fleek!” or “She’s so basic and ratchet”?

Fear not, dear readers – the McCollum Research Institute has conducted a study into your children and grandchildren’s usage of these interesting additions to the English language and have compiled their definitions for you here in an easy-to-carry form, allowing you to have it with you at all times for possible interactions with any and all Millennials.

So, in no particular order:

Bae: (noun) Another way for youths to say “babe” or “baby.” While some sources have said it is an acronym meaning “Before Anyone Else,” our researchers found that claim dubious, as we are almost certain most Millennials don’t know what an acronym is.

(If you’d like them to stop using this term, remind them that “bae” is actually the Danish word for poop. That should work.)

On fleek: (adjective) This phrase is about the quality of being perfect and can be thought of as the new version of “on point,” replacing the well-known phrase “come correct.”

(If you are related to the Millennial using this word, we believe you could get away with slapping them if they used this word in your presence. If you aren’t related to the person using the word, just glare at them until they feel awkward and walk away. Our research shows both methods work with some success.)

Basic: (adjective) This word is used to describe any person, place or activity involving incredibly obvious behavior, dress or action – in other words, transparent or unsophisticated. The word is often found with the prefix “so” in front of it.

(We suggest possibly letting this one slide. As far as Millennial slang goes, this one is actually near its original definition, so it could simply be proof of a language growing to fit the needs of its speakers.)

Turn Up: (verb) This word possibly evolved from the Lil’ Jon song “Turn Down For What” and has come to mean getting loose and having fun, usually at a party. It can be found in the noun form as “turnt up,” but should not be confused with its vegetable homonym “turnip.”

(In all seriousness, adults, this particular slang term can also be synonymous with excessive alcohol, drug use or risky sexual behavior, so seeing or hearing this term should either lead to a serious conversation or a preemptive strike of grounding until further information can be gained.)

Ratchet: (adjective) It is a term used to describe someone or something that is dirty, nasty, ugly or whorish. Its origins may be derived from a mispronunciation or misspelling of the word “wretched.”

(It is definitely not about a socket wrench. We also have no recommendations for stopping the usage of this word; there is no known cure. May God have mercy on us all.)

Fetch: (adjective) While it is allegedly “like, slang from England,” this word should never be used, despite Gretchen Wieners’ best attempts.

Stop trying to make “fetch” happen. It’s not going to happen. 

Cliff McCollum is managing editor of Gulf Coast Newspapers. He can be reached at cmccollum@gulfcoastnewspapers.com.