The Christmas season is a time for giving and receiving; a time for laughter and sharing. It is a time for visiting with family and friends; a time for remembering and caring. If it’s intended to be a time of peace and joy, then it’s important that giving is an act of selflessness. During this time, people shouldn’t show resentment or coveting toward others.

If jealousy is a fear of not having the value of another, then jealousy interferes with our level of self-value. In order to feel valued and appreciated, we must learn to love ourselves first. In building our own personal and emotional security, we must look within. We must search to find what it is that makes us special; what it is that keeps us from appreciating others like we should. If we perform good deeds for others, we should feel proud. Doing well and accomplishing tasks shouldn’t make us sad, but feeling the coldness of envy from others can be painful.

The writer Josh Billings once said, “Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.” Aeschylus stated, “It is in the character of very few men to honor without envy a friend who has prospered.”

Each person is designed with unique qualities that can be utilized to produce great results when bonded with others’ traits. By learning to value others, we can see the “big picture” in accomplishing small and large tasks. When portraying envy for others, we belittle and insult ourselves. The writer B.C. Forbes described it as a “mental cancer.”

When experiencing feelings of jealousy toward others’ advantages or possessions, we demonstrate resentment in our actions and create a barrier to functional interpersonal relationships.

When dealing with unwanted feelings of jealousy, seek a faithful friend to confide in, or possibly, counseling.

A few problem-solving strategies include:

•improving primary relationships;

•performing self-assessments; and

•finding trustworthy support groups.

Before we can solve any problem, it is vital that we admit there is a problem and search for the real cause; not just symptoms or circumstances.

Dr. Sonya Rogers is a certified counselor who serves as an English instructor for Daphne Middle School and Faulkner State Community College.