When speaking positive words, as is true with the giving of any gift, one is more blessed in the giving than the receiving. The recipient of a kindness such as a compliment should never toss it aside, or dismiss it lightly. Any gift is given for the enrichment of the recipient and cannot be used effectively until opened. Opening the gift means acceptance. In this case, accept the compliment.

When I see someone who has spent time getting a haircut, a new style, color, or whatever, when they are wearing a new suit or dress, and have spent considerable time in front of a mirror to be able to project the image I am seeing, I am going to compliment their efforts. It is obvious that they have worked at being presentable, why not notice and speak the positive words of a compliment. I am amazed at the number of individuals who self deprecate with such replies as, “This old dress, why I just dug it out of the closet,” or “My hair, I can’t do a thing with it.” Why lie?

I, as the one offering the compliment, have made the effort to transcend the social barriers about looking at people and noticing them, and in many cases that is no mean feat. In reply to my effort to compliment your preparations, I would much prefer a simple, “thank you,” or better yet, “Thank you for noticing.” It’s almost as if these individuals are ashamed of the work they have put in and want to remain anonymous. If you have made me notice, you have done a good job. Accept the compliment. It is a matter of good manners.

When a gift is given, you should receive it, and the appropriate response, regardless of your perception of the gift or the giver, is to say, “thank you.” There needs to be no qualification, no excuse, no perspective offered, just a sincere, solid, “thank you.” Then you both go on about your business. The receiver of the compliment feeling better about themselves for my having noticed and complimented them, while the person offering the compliment is satisfied that they have spoken positive words into someone’s life and have contributed to the making of their day.

It may be difficult sometimes to see the good in ourselves when someone compliments us, I know how that feels, but the good is there. There is greatness in all of us. Even if you know your effort was not your best, that you fell short of what you could have done, when someone recognizes even the hint of greatness, or sees improvement in you, or just your effort to be better, be gracious and accept the compliment. Rejoice in knowing that someone noticed you, that today, for just that one moment, you mattered. Isn’t that a great feeling, to matter even for a moment? I think so.

I was once told to stop complimenting a particular woman because her husband ignores her, and she might develop an emotional attachment to me. How ridiculous is that? Who would need a compliment more than an ignored person?

I will continue to notice people, and I will continue to speak positive words into their lives in an effort to make their day, even if for only a moment, brighter. I will not be judging you, I will be saying, “Hey, I’ve noticed you, you matter, you’ve brightened my day, thanks.” Please, if I make that effort, accept the compliment. Say “thank you” and both of us will have had our day made.

David Wilson Atwood is a local writer whose human-interest columns offer a unique perspective. He may be contacted at: www.starchasers.us.