I noticed recently where they were convening a congressional hearing on aliens. It was being held at the National Press Club in Washington and was sponsored by Citizen Hearing on Disclosure, an organization that urged the president in 2011 to “formally acknowledge an extraterrestrial presence engaging the human race.”

Okay, I believe. It’s the most logical explanation for what is happening on Planet Earth, this idea that we’re being “engaged” by Alien Overlords. What is happening, you ask? See, if you don’t realize there’s something amiss that’s proof in itself that THEY are using some kind of alien ray that’s keeping your thoughts all muddled up or THEY have stopped you from thinking at all. What’s happening is our inability to be reasonable, logical, cooperative, decent, humane and all that other stuff we used to have that’s gone missing today; manners, penmanship, sportsmanship, helpfulness, full-service gas stations, the 10-cent Krystal, WMDs. Yep, it’s Alien Overlords who are causing us to be like we are; it’s the only rational explanation.

Those participating in the congressional hearing were former members of the U.S. House of Representatives. There were no former representatives involved in the hearing from Alabama which is a darn shame since I believe the Alien Overlords send messages loud and clear to the people of this state.

Seriously, the next time you’re in the mall or grocery store just count the people walking around with a dazed look talking to themselves. Me, I say they’re talking to THEM and vice versa. It’s the same dazed look Gov. Robert Bentley has even when he’s addressing others who are likewise trance-like as they follow his dark alien logic on such topics as bingo: “I’m doing away with the Gambling Task Force, only I’m not. Gambling money from Mississippi is good, righteous money; gambling in Alabama is bad, bad, bad; even Indians shouldn’t be allowed to do it.”

I couldn’t help but notice that the organization that sponsored the hearing on aliens has a motto: “If Congress won’t do it, the people will.” Well, it’s fairly certain Congress is influenced by alien thinking, but why should we expect more from Average Joe? Wasn’t he on the Don Siegelman jury? Isn’t he of the opinion now that George W. Bush was a fiscal conservative; that Iraq wasn’t so bad; and neither was Bush’s handling of Hurricane Katrina? Truth is, W. was pretty great, you say?

Well, my little green man is telling me something different from what your little green man is telling you. So what are we to do? Nothing. Apparently we’re just being engaged from deep space through Montgomery and Washington.

Bob Morgan is a retired, award-winning journalist and an author.