Some people hate change and do not know how to effectively deal with it.

Due to fear of the unknown and a lack of understanding how to conquer fearful feelings, people often struggle with situations regarding changes in routine, relationships or residential moves. Moreover, people sometimes find themselves trapped in denial of acknowledging problems they have with change.  A person who behaves in denial may be portrayed by others as someone who is stubborn, hard-headed and even a bit immature when it comes to admitting their fears in relation to change.

When refusing to be honest with yourself, you deny the right to see your problems as they truly exist and nothing is done to correct the matter. Imagine going to a doctor and not telling the physician what is ailing you. How could he or she help you if the symptoms are not presented? It is imperative to acknowledge what needs to be changed in your life.

Charlie Brown once stated, “To get to nowhere, follow the crowd.” Therefore, it is wise to take a stand in making your own decisions. Blaming your friends for poor judgment is never a good idea. When you deny your own voice, values and judgments, you stop thinking for yourself. Sadly, you may reap negative consequences, if you aren’t lucky.

For an indecisive person, making decisions can be quite difficult. Some people simply flip a coin or take a chance on trying something new. Even though many people enjoy the thrill of trying new things and taking chances, moral and legal issues must be considered. It is healthy to talk to a trusted friend or family member when nervous about experiencing the stress of a sudden change in your life. When troubled and restless about a matter, sometimes venting can help people see their problems more clearly without even hearing advice from others. Whether sharing with someone else, reading an informational book, or listening to sound advice, the first step to solving a problem is to acknowledge that is exists and escape from the dark in order to seek better solutions.

When children experience difficulty in coping with change, they tend to show the following signs.

•Overeating or lack of appetite

•Insomnia

•Constant fatigue

•Whining or overly irrational behavior

•Withdrawal from activities or friends.

A smart way to help a child is to begin by listening, providing necessary facts and staying positive about whatever situations have created the monster of stress.

“Change has a considerable psychological impact on the human mind. To the fearful, it is threatening because it means things may get worse. To the hopeful, it is encouraging because things may get better.

To the confident, it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better,” stated King Whitney Jr. People who appear hopeful and confident are easier to spend time with than those who display a fearful, worrisome demeanor.

Based on the movie, “Over the Hedge,” Michael Fry and T. Lewis wrote, “The more things change, the more they remain…insane.” Change is inevitable. Yet, with change, people take risks to step out of their comfort zone. Sometimes change proves successful, while other times it can produce negative consequences; yet it still occurs. Some people just accept it easier than others.

By accepting things that cannot be changed, perceptions of stress are reduced. By learning to discern an accepting attitude toward change, a level of serenity is established. If problems are viewed as opportunities for growth, life becomes much easier to understand. Therefore, being part of the solution is definitely better than feeling like the victim. Another thought to consider is the suggestion that empowerment is accepting reality as it is and making the best of it; instead of always wishing life was different.

When matters seem out of your control, assess the situation and realize that your actions may not have the power to create different results. Then, identify the consequences at hand. In other words, how does this change affect you physically, mentally, and emotionally? Designing a pros and cons chart can prove beneficial also. Next, check your attitude toward the change.

Choose to think and act positively. Remember: Even change can change!

Dr. Sonya Rogers is a certified counselor who lives in Daphne.