My dog Rascal died and I’m sad; I don’t know how to get over it. What do I do?

—Grieving

SR: For many people, a pet seems to complete a family. Some pets are as special as a child to an adult, so losing a pet can bring about feelings of  loneliness and discomfort.

Any loss of someone or something can create an emotional state of grievance. There are typically five stages of the grieving process in which a person should experience during a loss. Those stages include: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

While experiencing pain over your loss, it is normal to feel hurt, yet it is wise to embrace your grief. However, it is also imperative that you focus on the good and positive memories  of your pet. Collect pictures, or write a poem that brings about treasured memories.

Don’t let others make you feel silly for sharing your feelings or displaying sadness.

It may be wise to work through your loss before you attempt to replace the pet with a new one. Somehow, time can make a difference. Engage in other activities that  will help you focus on other important matters.

Being that most humans outlive many of their pets, it is likely that this scenario will happen more than once.

If you continue to feel sad over an extensive period of time, I would suggest going to the book store and reading a book that expounds on the best way to deal with the loss of a pet.

JPC: Losing a pet can be a very hard thing to go through and it may take some time for you to feel better. It may help to try to focus on other aspects of your life. You could even take up something new, like joining a sports team or starting a new hobby.

You don’t have to forget Rascal to get over his death, however.

Another approach you could take would be to make some sort of memorial for him. You could create a scrapbook or a special box where you can save all the memories you had with him. By pasting all your favorite pictures of him into a book or placing his favorite chew toys in a box, you’ll have something special to remember him by. Any time you miss him you can go through the book or open up the box and remember all the great times you too had together.

Also, having something tangible with his name on it can be very helpful to the grieving process. It may be a comfort to know that even though he can’t be there with you, you will always have these memories of him.

In time, it should get easier to move on from Rascal’s death.

I’m kind of getting tired of my old best friend. She’s getting annoying, but I don’t want to ditch her and hurt her feelings; how should I try to not be friends with her without hurting her feelings?

—Annoyed

SR: In some ways, it can be quite difficult to find a true ‘best’ friend. Some people can be so selfish that sharing their innermost feelings and time with another  person becomes difficult.

It is a treasure to find a genuine friend who has your best interests at heart. This person is loyal to the friendship, is honest and respectful.

If you have a best friend who is becoming annoying, it might be wise to consume yourself  with other activities, so you are not ending the friendship, but you are allowing yourself to breathe.

Ask yourself, “What is it that really annoys me about my friend?” Your friend might be doing something  that he or she is not aware of. Many times, friendships go through stages. Things can become complacent and people begin looking for a change. You and your friend might need to either spend some time apart or find new things to do together.

Often times, adolescents will find common interests and that is what they use as a measure for spending time together; whether the interests involve a sport, a club or a weekend adventure.

Friendships are important in life and not something that people should just toss aside until they are ready to ‘play’ again. Keep in mind that several different friends can serve various purposes in our lives. However, if you  are feeling overwhelmed by the bond that exists between you and your friend, rather than exclude him or her from your life, simply include others as well.

Best of luck!

JPC: If this has just been happening recently, I would try to stick by the friendship for a bit longer. She may be just going through a phase and soon might not seem so annoying.

If it has been going on awhile and you are positive you do not want to be friends with her anymore, then you should start exploring other options.

It is good that you don’t want to hurt her feelings or ditch her, as this often happens between friends and can be incredibly upsetting for a person to go through. The best way to go about moving away from your friendship with her in a way that won’t be hurtful is to try to do it slowly. Maybe just start gradually cutting back on the time the two of you spend together. Encourage her to hang out with other people too, but always suggest this in a nice, subtle way. Go for something like “Sally reminds me of you so much; you two should so go see a movie together next weekend,” or “Bobby has that new game you’ve been wanting at his house; you should totally ask him if you can go over and play it some time.

Sounds better than  “I think you should go hang out with those people over there,” doesn’t it? 

As you both start to form more friendships, you will probably be spending less time together naturally, so it won’t seem as forced as if just you started hanging out with your other friends more.

No matter what you do, avoid meanness at all costs. Remember, no matter how “annoying” you find a person, that never gives you the right to treat them badly. End the friendship in a way that reflects the good times the two of you had being best friends.