Editor’s Note: This is a ‘refurbished’ tongue-in-cheek column from the past by Gene Owens.

As we observe the 150th anniversary of the War Between the States, scholars and partisans are hard at work trying to determine just what role black Southerners played in the defense of the Southland.

We all know that blacks fought in the Union Army, but some people — particularly those from north of the Mason-Dixon line — find it hard to understand why blacks would fight in the army of the land that held them as slaves.

Thanks to modern technology, which has given us virtual history, I can take you back in time to the drawing room of an Alabama plantation house of 1861, where Ol’ Marse was having a heart-to-heart talk with his faithful companion Mose:

Marse: Come on in, Mose, and let me po’ you a glass of sherry. I been needin’ to hold a heart-to-heart talk with a trusted and faithful companion.

Mose: Thank ye, Marse. I been looking forward to an intellectually stimulating discussion of current events with you over a glass of fine wine.

Marse: You know, Mose, I keep hearing these Yankee abolitionists talk about slavery as if it was something evil. Why I don’t think of you as a slave at all. I think of you as an associate. How long have you been my associate, Mose?

Mose: Ever since they took me away from my mammy and pappy in Virginny and sold me to your daddy here on this plantation.

Marse: Well, Mose, as you know, the Yankees have done elected Old Abe as president of the United States, completely ignoring the wishes of our fair Southland. What do you associates think of this?

Mose: We were just discussing that the other day at the political-awareness seminar in the associates’ quarters, after a happy day of productive labor chopping your cotton. We all agreed that we were mighty lucky that our ancestors were delivered from their benighted homeland and provided with free transportation to this smiling, bounteous and tranquil land. And now those Yankees are threatening to destroy our cherished way of life by trampling roughshod on our sacred states’ rights.

Marse: I couldn’t have put it any better, Mose. Here, have a cigar. What do you associates see as the critical issues facing this country?

Mose: Well, most of us feel like it would be a crying shame to deprive our states of the right to manage their own affairs. We have studied the Constitution carefully, along with the Federalist Papers, and have concluded that it was intended as a compact among the states and not a blueprint for a strong federal government. Unless somebody puts a stop to this foolishness, first thing you know they’re going to be setting up a Department of Education in Washington to tell us how to run our schools down here, if we have any schools.

Marse: That’s the gospel truth, Mose. How do you feel about taxes?

Mose: I’m ag’in ‘em, Marse. Especially that protective tariff that makes us have to pay high prices for those imported luxuries. They are depriving our Southland of the money we associates have worked so hard to earn and they’re spending it on wasteful projects up North, such as canals and railways. That’s socialism, sir, and we associates are opposed to it on principle.

Marse: That’s mighty satisfying to hear you say that, Mose. As you know, Lincoln and his henchmen are also saying that we Southerners should not be allowed to settle in the new territories and take our associates with us. How do y’all feel about that.

Mose: We associates are really worked up over that. It goes to the deeper question of property rights. A man ought to be able to move into the new territories with all his property. Now a Yankee can move out to Nebraska and take his horses, mules, cows and pigs with him. But a Southerner can’t take his associates with him. It seems a crying shame that the Yankees would deny us associates the same privileges they allow mules, cows and pigs.

Marse: I can see you’ve given this careful consideration, Mose. It warms my heart to see such dedicated Southern patriots among my associates. As you know, there’s talk of an invasion of our homeland from up North. The Yankees are going to come down here and burn our homes and crops and carry off our wives and children. Are you willing to defend your home and family?

Mose: In Dixieland I’ll take my stand, sir!

Marse: Well, Mose, the war has actually begun! The next gale that sweeps from the North will bring to our ears the clash of resounding arms. Our brethren are already in the field!

Mose: Why stand we here idle? Is life so dear or peace so sweet as to be purchased at the price of chains and slaves?

Marse: You said it, Mose. Here’s you a uniform and I’ll give you a gun soon as the Yankees start shooting at us. I’ll go saddle my steed and you go saddle your mule, and we’ll be off to protect our homeland. You do realize, of course, that when Lincoln hears about this he just might issue the Emancipation Proclamation just to spite the South.

Mose: Forbid it, Almighty God. I know not what course others may take, but as for me, give me slavery or give me death!

Readers may write Gene Owens at 315 Lakeforest Circle, Anderson SC 29625 or by email WadesDixieco@AOL.com.