Sue Steigerwald stood proud beside her son, Joel, as he waited to get his driver's license.  When the clerk asked Joel if he wanted to be an organ donor, he turned to his mother and asked what that was.  Sue explained what organ donation was and Joel gladly made the choice to become a donor.  Sue hadn't thought any more about that conversation until three years later. In 2007, standing in the hospital, the doctor told her that Joel was not going to pull through and she needed to start thinking about organ donation.  

When Melissa Wible, of the Alabama Organ Center, introduced herself, Sue told her, "I can't talk to you about this because my son is going to be okay."  Melissa said she would pray for Joel.  She and Sue prayed together and for the next forty-eight hours, Melissa remained in the background offering a warm smile, an encouraging look and help in any way, to Sue and her family.

Then Sue was told "the most heart-wrenching news a parent can ever receive, Joel has no brain activity." After Joel passed, Sue states, "Melissa is such an awesome person. She was so compassionate and patient and explained the process in such a way that made me proud of Joel's choice of becoming an organ donor."  Melissa kept Sue informed about the destination, age and gender of the recipients who would be receiving organs.  Sue said, "This helped me to visualize the recipient's to the North, East, West and their loved ones in the hospital.  And to imagine the relief they must be facing."

In order for organs to be eligible for donating, there has to be continual blood flow through the body.  Usually the case is severe head trauma/brain death.  The cornea must be harvested within twelve hours of death and the tissue within twenty four.  Tissue can be stored and is primarily used for burn patients, but can also be used for ligament repair.

Sue would learn that Joel's left kidney and pancreas were transplanted into a 58-year-old male.  The right kidney was transplanted into a 36-year-old male.  Both recipients were suffering from end-stage kidney disease.  The liver was transplanted into a 62-year-old male and the heart was transplanted into a 23-year-old female.  She would also learn that from a single tissue donation, upwards of one hundred people would benefit.  Sue discovered that a pair of eyes (cornea) could restore sight for up to six people.  She heard from the Alabama Eye Bank that the donation of Joel's eyes had already helped to restore sight for one individual.

Sue was told that she would have the opportunity to communicate with the recipients but there was no guarantee they would respond because of the tremendous amount of guilt they often feel.  She was told the reason they feel guilty was because they feel they are living because someone else has lost a loved one.  Communication would begin through the Alabama Organ Center (A.O.C.).  They would forward the letter on to the recipient and vice versa. Communication could continue through the A.O.C. or the donor family and the recipient could choose to take the communication further and provide personal information, addresses, etc.  As for the cornea recipients, Sue was originally told by the Alabama Eye Bank that she could not make contact with those recipients.  Subsequently, she has found out she is able to write a letter, which she will be doing in the near future.

Sue said, "Everybody grieves differently.  With some people, the best way for them to grieve is very quietly. So contact, for them, is not something they will want to do."  Sue, however, made the decision she would write letters and send a photo of Joel to each recipient family, taking into consideration what Melissa had said about their feelings.  Sue said she made it very clear that her family was so happy that Joel was able to touch their lives and give them and their loved ones more time together.

Dalton, the 36-year-old recipient that received the right kidney was the first one to write back.  Dalton, a dialysis patient for ten years, had spent one third of his life confined to a radius of 100 miles.  Because of this restriction, he had been unable to attend family reunions,  college or lengthy trips.  In a portion of Dalton's letter he wrote, "I am writing this letter to express my sincere and heartfelt gratitude for being the recipient of the donated kidney of your loved one.  Although the English language does not have the appropriate language for me to accurately express my feelings, I will try."  He goes on to explain that his life has taken on a whole new meaning.  He holds a greater appreciation for life and the possibilities it holds and has even began to make travel plans.  He wrote, "...it feels like being born again." and "No greater sacrifice can possibly be given than the gift of life."

Sue and Dalton corresponded through email and made plans to meet one another.  In an email from Dalton he wrote, "This has been a very emotional day for me because I have had time to sit back and realize how much more complete my life is since I received this gift and new chance on life."  Sue met Dalton and his family and they shared stories, memories and made plans to meet again the following June.

Sue then received a letter along with a hand-made bowl from Gordon, the recipient of Joel's left kidney and pancreas.  Gordon's letter begins, "Please let me begin by expressing my most sincere acknowledgment of your profound loss.  Such things are so difficult to experience and test the very essence of our faith.  From my heart I thank you for the gift of life you have given me."  Gordon stated in his letter that he had been a physician for many years and appreciated the importance of healing.   He went on to explain that he had been a diabetic for many years and eventually developed end stage renal disease.  He was very ill for many years and had been on the transplant list for a year and a half. He was ready to begin dialysis when he received the news that the A.O.C. had found a match.  Gordon continued, "I have never felt better in so, so many years, no longer having diabetes or kidney disease.  It's really a miracle.  Thank you Joel."

As with Dalton, Sue and Gordon continued communication through email and Sue met him on the one year anniversary of his transplant.  Sue wrote in an email to Gordon, "I am very touched by your obvious enjoyment of life.  I felt it in our first meeting and it was only reinforced in our second meeting."  Gordon replied, "It was a really special moment meeting you.  Just wanted to let you know that Carmen and I will always be with you in our hearts and prayers."  Sue, Gordon and their families are looking forward to a long and lasting friendship.

Sue did not receive any contact from the 62-year-old man from Florida who received the liver transplant.  She was told by A.O.C. that he passed away in the fall of 2010 from other complications. Sue is sure that his family was very grateful to have had three more years with him.

In addition, Sue had not received any correspondence from the 23-year-old female (Emily), also from Florida.  Emily had been trying to contact Sue, but due to communication break-down between states, neither had received anything.  Finally Emily received one of the letters Sue had sent.  In that letter, Sue had let everyone know that Joel had been one of five Alabama donors chosen to be honored on the 2010 Donate Life, Parade of Roses organ donation float.  All Emily knew from the letter was the name Joel and the Rose Bowl parade, so she went to the Rose Bowl website, found the Donate Life float and found Joel's full name.  She then turned to Facebook where she found Joel's golf tournament scholarship page.   It was on this Facebook page that she contacted Sue.

From the Facebook correspondence, Sue learned Emily had a son named Jaden.  Emily also explained to Sue the reason she needed a heart transplant.  Emily had a heart attack at age 22 and then a stroke at age 23, which lead to a cardiomyopathy.   She went on to describe how her heart was so weak it could not pump blood through her body and she was gaining a lot of fluids.  By the time she went to the doctor about the fluid build-up, the doctors told her she was "hanging on by a thread."  Emily was flown to Tampa, Florida where they installed a pacemaker, but it didn't solve her problem.  She was in the hospital for a few months of which the last month was spent on life support.  Emily wrote how, "When they told me I wouldn't survive any longer on life support (without a transplant), I honestly gave up.  But then I got great news that they had had found a match for me!"  Since her transplant, Emily went to school to be a medical assistant and a year after went on to be an x-ray technician.  She and Sue plan to finally meet in person in June of this year at Disney.

Sue stays very active with the different events, such as the an annual “Service of Remembrance”, Annual Picnic and Quilt Pinning Ceremony  put on by the Alabama Organ Center.  Sue, family and friends also attended “A Walk in the Park” at City Park in Mobile to help raise money to send Team Alabama to the 2010 National Transplant Games in Wisconsin.  Dalton participated in, but did not win, the bicycle race.  However, he was very happy that he and Joel made it to the finish line.

She is thankful for the many follow up phone calls, letters, cards and materials on dealing with grief she has received from the A.O.C.  She is very proud of the "Teen Quilt" in which Joel was included.  The quilt is dedicated to the children between the ages of 13 - 19 who were donors.  The squares on the quilt each have a little information about the donor, along with a picture.  The quilt is used in the A.O.C.'s school presentation where they try to educate kids on the benefits of becoming an organ donor. 

In closing, Sue had this to say about meeting the recipient families, "The first contact I received was a letter.  It was ten days before Joel’s twentieth birthday, my first without him.  As I read, that for Dalton receiving his kidney was “like being born again,” I was able to shed tears of joy with what for months had only been tears of grief.  When we met for the first time, I could see the anguish in his face, that was until I hugged him and told him how happy I was to meet him.  It’s important to realize how difficult it is for the recipient as they deal with the guilt of receiving the ultimate gift, the gift of life, knowing that you are dealing with great loss.

I met Gordon and his wife on the one year anniversary of his kidney and pancreas transplant.  Ever since, Gordon lifts my spirits by subtly conveying events in his life; the joy of a summer day, a bike ride and his spiritual awakening.  Joel and Gordon would have hit it off well.  Gordon’s musical interest and ties to New Orleans culture would have kept them talking for hours. 

A boy will soon turn eight and has his Mom with him today because of Joel’s decision to give the gift of life.  I will meet Emily and her son in June."

 "Donation - final act of compassion towards others."