P.T. Barnum said a sucker is born every minute but I’m here to tell you that fools reproduce a whole lost faster than that. I’m of the opinion a fool is born every five to 10 seconds.

Me, I’m a whole lot more fearful of a Fool Apocalypse than a Zombie one. You can spot a zombie by the way he lurches around, has dead eyes and a snarling mouth ready to bite a plug out of you. A fool, however, isn’t as easy to spot. He or she is behind the wheel of an automobile or is piloting a plane or serving on a board; a fool can hang out a shingle or be in surgical greens; a fool can be a teacher, preacher, head of the PTO, or chair a fundraiser. A fool can be a pooh bah, big shot, honcho, power broker or CEO. Fools hold degrees, titles, commissions, appointments, positions and licenses.

I’m not saying fools outnumber non-fools but the demographics appear to be getting closer all the time. In your more honest moments I think you’ll agree with me on the subject of fools. If I were to ask you to envision the biggest fool in your neighborhood I have to believe a mental image would form. Same for the biggest fool in your family ... in your social circle ... in your church. You know who they are!

I know, I know. Christians shouldn’t call anybody a name, especially a member of the church. Yet, it was St. Paul himself who told one church not to “suffer fools gladly,” which leads me to believe fools existed way back then and continue to exist, which explains how televangelists stay on the air and offer bottles of water from the River Jordan for a scant $100 a bottle. Truth is, our society has evolved to the point that we can’t do without the fool. Who, but a fool, would go to a political convention and wear those goofy hats and cheer for and vote for a candidate who will enact foolish legislation and laws that will be applauded only by those who voted for him or her, namely, fools?

Fools buy the exercise equipment that folds and slides under the bed, right underneath the mattress with the Oreo crumbs and Blue Belle stains in six different flavors. It takes a fool to explain the economy; actually it takes lots of fools since no two of them agree on what’s going to happen. Without fools there would be no time-sharing, used car lots, husband/wife relationships (the exception being Christian Mingle where the Almighty plays matchmaker), lobbyists, public comments at city council meetings, or talk radio and sports shows.

Let’s be fair: Fools have given us reason to notice colorful characters. One of them from my younger years died recently, Billy Sol Estes, a Texan who ran a fertilizer scam that reached all the way to the Lyndon Johnson White House. More recently fools gave us the Bernie Madoff Show, fertilizer of a different sort.

Whatever, the painful proliferation of fools makes me want to drop out and go fishing. Only, I remember how Samuel Johnson defined a fishing rod: “a stick with a hook at one end and a fool at the other.”

Bob Morgan is a retired, award-winning journalist and an author.