If something is real, it absolutely exists. It is not solely based on someone’s thoughts or opinions. It actually includes everything that exists in the present or has occurred in the past. It is observable and comprehensible. In contrast, it is not imaginary, delusional or abstract. It is not what we know to be fictional. In addition, if something is not exactly real, it is ambiguous in its character or nature and allows for contradictory uses.

For realists, the world is based on a set of facts. These are directly related to what one considers to be truth. A fact is thought to be a phenomenon that is governed by a principle. Yet, a form of reality for one person might be quite different than a reality for another. Religious discussions are a typical example of people differing on what is real and what is not. Reality can be shaped by physics, philosophy, perceptions and attitudes. Differing views will exist on the topic of what is truly real and what is not.

The majority of people can easily tell the difference between reality and fantasy. For example, fictitious characters in novels and movies are perceived as pretend historical figures; yet, children tend to fondly believe that Snow White and Cinderella actually exist. Many people choose to think the human brain can distinguish between fantasy and reality since real things tend to hold a higher degree of personal relevance than any type of fictional character or object could. Things that are real have great meaning and significance in one’s life.

Relationships are built on principles, yet some relationships are not valued or real in the respect that one party may not genuinely care to establish a real bond with the other party.

 When building a real relationship, one consciously takes great strides toward listening and actively sharing time and energy with the other person.

A non-selfish attitude and demeanor is easily noticed. Quality interactions, good intentions and a sense of loyalty and respect are meaningful ingredients for ‘real’ relationships. Internet relationships would not serve as an example of a ‘real’ relationship.

Nearly 60 percent of marriages in the U.S. end in divorce. For the most part, the couples who stay together tend to admit the reason is usually due to financial obligations or children. To build a real relationship in a marriage, couples must understand the root of their problems. If it is trust issues, both parties must remove any signs of unfaithfulness. Ties from former lovers should be disconnected. More time should be spent together.

Honest communication should be shared regularly. The greatest form of love seems to be unconditional. Real love entails making mistakes, but cooperatively working through bad decisions and finding ways to live a more productive, joyful life together.

Dr. Sonya Rogers is a certified counselor who lives in Daphne.

Her column regularly appears in The Bulletin.