In most situations, the term “disagreement” sounds negative and unpleasant. In many different types of affairs, disagreements are kept suppressed and even though thoughts and feelings might be hidden from the public eye, they are still in memory and can create a massive level of tension between two or more parties. When unresolved conflict arises and is not handled correctly, there is no chance for improvement within a situation.

In some homes or businesses, family members or workers will hoard feelings of guilt and bitterness; rather than openly discussing what has surfaced and seeking a pleasant way to deal with the root of the problem.

Some individuals may choose to follow the “agree to disagree” method. In this manner, both parties are allowed to voice their concerns; yet remain civil and respectful of one another’s feelings and decisions.

Situations that are unhealthy cannot improve if open communication is not allowed and appreciated. When people are willing to accept differing views without intolerant attitudes or behavior, relationships can flourish. Compromises can enhance friendships; whereas, unexpressed resentment can create a mountain of wounds. When a child falls and skins both knees, he or she will often appear very unhappy and upset. If the wound is not treated, it can become infected and possibly scarred. Yet, if it is cleaned and bandaged, chances are it will heal naturally within a short period of time.

Treating family members and friends with respect and careful attention can remedy many unpleasant situations. For instance, when siblings fight, it doesn’t mean they don’t care about each other. They simply haven’t figured out the best method for dealing with their feelings of jealousy or indifference. Individual temperaments can be quite different and in conjunction with varying moods and unique personalities, parents must figure out a way to serve as the best role models for enabling children to find peaceful measures of resolution.

When parents demonstrate how to work through conflicts in a peaceful and productive manner, children are able to witness this behavior and will more than likely imitate the correct way to manage their own battles. Slamming doors, yelling, and name-calling are never good choices for reacting to an unfriendly confrontation. 

Fighting fairly isn’t always an easy task. When emotions are unstable and tempers are flaring, it is sometimes best for people to simply take a time-out and think of not just the symptoms of their troubles, but also to consider what might actually be the real root of their problems. Then, one must develop steps that can be taken to find the easiest and fairest possible solution which will hopefully create a win-win situation for everyone involved.

Disagreements do not have to be so disastrous; they can sometimes ultimately serve as educational experiences.

Dr. Sonya Rogers is a certified counselor who lives in Daphne.

Her column twice monthly appears in the Daphne Bulletin and Spanish Fort Sun.