During those halcyon days back in my quiet, unassuming small hometown of Opelika (not so long ago), I was taken aback by some found dialogue I heard at a city council meeting I was covering.

“Lord, we just ask you, Lord, to bless this day, Lord. Lord, we love you, Lord, and, Lord, we just want you to continue to love us, too, Lord, as you see fit, Lord.”

This was the start of a prayer that continued for several minutes, and I listened with rapt attention as the blesser continued his Lord-laced offering to the Almighty.

By the time he had finished his supplication, I had counted more than 60 uses of the word “Lord,” within a two-minute-or-so prayer.

I thought it was an isolated incident until two more public prayers I was privy to also drifted into repeated “Lord” usage, peppering sentences with Lords left and right, giving the ears little to no amount of time before yet another “Lord” was barreling its way towards us.

However, upon further reflection, I can’t help but notice that, in it’s written form, what I’ve come to term “Lordspeak,” appears to actually be a verbal indicator for punctuational usage.

Each “Lord” uttered by the devout parishioners seems to be some form of Almighty-approved comma or period.

Let’s dissect our example sentences from our unknowing source:

“Lord, we just ask you, Lord, to bless this day, Lord.”

The first Lord is the “indicator lord,” as it informs us we are talking to the Lord, Father God – proper noun, King of the Universe, God.

It similarly informs God Almighty that our prayer is being addressed specifically to him, not any of those shady, made-up deities like Xenu or the alien king that lives inside of Stan Lee.

The second Lord is the “superfluous lord,” the usage of the word the sentence could actually survive without.

It’s the extra information “Lord,” just in case someone woke up mid-prayer and weren’t sure if we were still in a Christian nation.

The final Lord: the “all-stop lord,” signifying the end of a sentence and the almost immediate arrival of another “indicator lord.”

Dissect the second sentence on your own, looking for these main varieities of “Lord usage,” and then see how people are using the word “lord” in your favorite places of worship.

I don’t wish to demean or belittle the power of prayer.

I am fully aware of the difference prayer makes in a life, as I pray and am prayed for every day.

But, an occasionally wise person once told me a phrase I tend to stand by:

“Prayers are not to the Lord; prayers are for the benefit of human listeners.”

We can “Lord” all we want to, but, in the end, it’s how we feel our prayers have been received by God that matter most.

Just try not to let “lording” distract you from conveying a simple, clear message to Him, especially in front of an audience of believers.

Some of us can get so distracted by small things that we miss the important ones.

Cliff McCollum is managing editor of the Gulf Coast Newspaper Group. He can be reached at cmccollum@gulfcoastnewspapers.com