It occurs to me that I have under-exploited my relationship to Cousin J.D. Davis, a talented self-proclaimed redneck who lives somewhere in Aiken County, S.C., and like me, was an early disciple of our late Uncle Tom Rains.

So it gives me great pleasure to pass along J.D.’s ingenious proposal: to add yellow-jacket nest-robbing to the list of Olympic events.

Now if you grew up outside the South, and outside the region of sand hills that separate the Piedmont from the coastal plain, yellow-jacket hunting may be unfamiliar to you, and you may never have heard of its most accomplished performer, Uncle Tom.

“Tom Rains was gold medal material, and I had the privilege of being tutored by the master of the hunt,” wrote J.D. in a posting on “Wharfrats,” the family website.

The dictionaries define the yellow jacket as a “social wasp,” but me and J.D. know better, having been tutored by Tom. A wasp builds its next above ground, hanging it from limbs, eaves and other places sheltered places. The yellow jacket nests underground. ‘Jackets and regular wasps have one important thing in common: They can sting like the dickens.

“To track these elusive insects to their home and then ‘rob’ the nest is a complicated task requiring skill, determination and expertise,” J.D. asserts. “The beauty of the whole thing is that the materials required are few. All one needs is a fusee (a railroad flare), some sushi (dead fish), some baking flour, a pack of rolling papers, a few cases of beer and a couple of hours to kill.”

Here’s J.D.’s description of the ‘jacket-chasing event as it transpired in boyhood days:

“Sunup comes, and the first team member makes his way to Pappy’s pond with a cane pole and a few wigglers dug from the ground in Grandma’s flower bed. Digging the worms without getting caught by Grandma earns 10 points. (Getting caught earns a switching.) A couple of fair-to-middling-sized bream are caught and it’s off to meet the rest of the team, who are waiting at a pre-selected pine tree in the woods just beyond Pappy’s property line. Getting past Pappy, who is looking for someone to help weed the cornfields, earns 10 points. Getting caught results in your losing your place on the team and spending the day pulling nut grass from around corn stalks.”

Back at the tree, assuming you make it that far, the “gutter” waits to do his job. He opens the fish with his filet knife (a genuine Barlow), peels back the skin, slices the flesh and hangs tempting slabs on a tree, head-high to the smallest team member. After another team member has snitched coffee and biscuits from Grandma’s kitchen (10 points for making it back fully loaded), and while you’re sipping and munching, you wait for the ‘jackets to find the fish and begin carving off individual slices. Then comes Tom’s “powdering” process.

You select a ‘jacket, dust it with Lily White baking powder and watch it leave. Note how long it takes it to come back. That will give you some idea of how far away the nest is.

Now comes the technique called “flagging.” JD tells how Tom did it, as though Tom were still with us, practicing his craft:

“Pinching off a piece of sushi, he rolls it into a ball about the size of a BB and incorporates a piece of OCB cigarette rolling paper into a wad. Placing this on a pine straw, he gently pushes it under the selected ‘jacket. The ‘jacket will secure the load, Tom will release it, and if the load is not too heavy, the ‘jacket will fly off at a leisurely pace and Tom will follow it to the hole. (Balancing the load to the ability of the ‘jacket: 20 points.)”

Once you’ve located the entrance to the nest, your next job is to mark its location with a secret code so nobody else will find it (10 points and a round of beers for the adult team members if the code works).

The actual nest robbing takes place at night. This is where Coach Tom would throw in his nest-robbing special team. The “blower” plays a dangerous but crucial role: He must light the fusee and blow the smoke into the hole to put the ‘jackets to sleep. The ‘wingman’ breaks a limb from a nearby tree and fans away any jackets that might escape and try to attack the blower. The “light man” is responsible for illuminating the entire scene and must be trusted not to take his flashlight and run if something goes wrong. The fireman stands by to extinguish any fire that results from the robbery attempt.

“Letting a forest fire break out results in immediate disqualification, possible criminal charges and loss of beer privileges on future hunts,” says J.D.

Next the “digger” gingerly works his way down the tunnel until the nest is exposed. Then the “bagger” lifts out the nest, brushes away the sleeping ‘jackets and deposits the prize in a Winn-Dixie grocery sack. The nest, rich in plump white grubs, will provide somebody with excellent fish bait. If all goes well, the team gets 10 points for each member.

If the team needs more points or more beer, it can take the nest to a nearby fishing pond and juke joint and sell it for $2.50 a pound (10 points if you can get more than $2.50 a pound).

“Swapping flat-out for a case of cheap beer earns you no points, but it does make the celebration more fun,” says J.D.

I’m not sure Beijing is ready for all this. I’m not sure the world is ready for J.D., either.

Readers may write Gene Owens at 317 Braeburn Drive or e-mail him at WadesDixieco@aol.com