Twenty years ago, rules seemed simple. For instance, a few common rules were: clean your shoes before entering a building; shut the door behind youl; and always be kind and respectful to others. Today, children are still reminded of similar rules, such as chew with your mouth closed, say ‘yes’ and ‘thank you’, and assist others when in need. Children need to learn manners and to follow rules at an early age. Parents are the best candidates to instill this type of training.

Do you think children are known to cheat in games or break a rule just to see if there will be consequences? Are good manners based on cultural customs? Do parents often teach their children what they were taught as a child? These questions are based on common beliefs. In some countries eating with your hands is offensive. However, in other countries, a steak should be eaten with a knife and fork; yet a burger can be eaten with the hands. No matter what the cultural belief might be for a specific area, it is wise to teach children good manners that will allow them to ‘fit’ into the larger culture of life.

Just as it is important to keep rules at home or in society, it is very much important that children remember their manners and follow rules within the family of a school setting. Even though people may have different opinions about what rules should be enforced, it is imperative that compromise is established and everyone works consistently together. Knowing that there are differences in rules and customs within various cultures is important. Choosing to have a positive attitude towards established rules and expectations is vital.

Some rules are as simple as the red-ligh-green-light rule. Even primary students have learned to abide by classroom rules that follow this particular code. In essence, the green light symbolizes ‘go’ or ‘yes’; whereas, the red light implies a ‘no’ or a ‘stop’ as an answer. This type of rule is set in place for the common good of all involved. Fortunately, rules that are made by individuals can be easily changed.

Many rules are based on safety measures. Rules should be posted and reinforced. They should be clearly understood and followed. Fair consequences should be provided for any rules that are broken.

If parents do not follow through with the consequences introduced, children will begin to think breaking rules is not a big deal. Responsibility then becomes a factor. The purpose of using consequences is to teach children to learn to make decisions and become responsible adults.

Consequences are necessary in serving as learning experiences, not punishment.      

Dr. Sonya Rogers is a certified counselor who lives in Daphne.

Her column twice monthly appears in the Daphne Bulletin and Spanish Fort Sun.