Communication between parents and teenagers is necessary for successful adolescent development.

Parents and educators must acknowledge the significance of working one-on-one with teenagers in a manner that is respectful, caring and positive. Lecturing, yelling and negative verbal interactions do not generally produce long-term positive results.

In schools and in homes, rules should be stated clearly and consequences for certain unwarranted behaviors should be presented early. This allows the teenager to take responsibility  for his or her actions.

The consequence chosen must be directly tied to the behavior.

Furthermore, punishments and rewards should not be given randomly. There should be  a consistent pattern of events that correlate with what is being done appropriately and what needs to be tackled differently.

Some parents believe it is better to provide several small consequences than lengthy, trying ones. What is imperative is that parents understand it is impossible to give children everything they want. Furthermore, trying to meet their every want and need often cripples them to a degree and can enable them to depend on others regularly and not practice the development of responsible behaviors.

If teenagers are told to do something (and that if they disobey, there’ s a consequence), there must be  some repercussion.

Young people need to believe that they can trust adults to be honest and dependable in what they say and do. And if they can believe these things, they have a much better shot at becoming good leaders themselves—as opposed to becoming untrustworthy folks who lie, cheat and steal, like some national newsmakers of late.  

Dr. Sonya Rogers is a certified counselor who lives in Daphne. 

Her column appears regularly in the Daphne Bulletin and Spanish Fort Sun.