FAIRHOPE, Ala. — The University of South Alabama Baldwin County has announced the next topic in its free Distinguished Lecture series. “The Divorce Process” will explore ways to adjust when a marriage ends.

Guest speakers Dr. Harvey Joanning and Dr. Patricia Keoughan will provide specific recommendations regarding how to cope during each stage, describe resources available to divorcing individuals and provide information about the effects of divorce on children.

The lecture will take place Sunday, March 8, at 3 p.m., at USABC’s Performance Center, located at the corner of St. James Avenue and Summit Street in Fairhope.

“We’re going to talk about the stages people go through in a divorce,” Keoughan said. She pointed out they are similar in a way to the stages of grief, but naturally are not as painful as dealing with the death of a loved one.

Keoughan said, “There are initially a lot of feelings of confusion, disbelief and anger. There’s anger with their partner about the divorce itself or what motivated the divorce. There’s acceptance when you say, ‘OK this is what it is, and this is what I’ve got to do.’”

She noted it is very important to take plenty of time to adjust to being single again. Don’t rush into another relationship, Keoughan said, adding there will always be a palpable relationship between you and an ex-spouse, and it will certainly be more tangible if children are involved.

“How do we treat each other in this relationship? How do we help our children through it?” Keoughan asked. “If you don’t have children, it’s much easier to negotiate what that relationship is.”

If there are children, it’s an entirely different story. Joanning said,” You can divorce your partner, but you can never divorce your parenthood.”

Keoughan said, “Not everyone needs therapy. Joanning concurred, but added, “Some will come to marriage therapy to save the marriage, but don’t realize they might need counseling to get it untangled.”

As marriage counselors themselves, the two never recommend divorce, but sometimes encourage additional counseling if the relationship is irreparable, particularly if the relationship produced children.

Either way, there could always be reminders of that relationship just under the surface. From happening upon your ex-spouse’s MySpace page to discovering an item about them in the community newspaper, the emotions of the relationship can reemerge in some form.

“You don’t have to relate to them on a personal basis, but it reminds you of the time you were with that person,” Keoughan said. “Your feelings will be stirred.”

A portion of the lecture will address how professionals such as divorce counselors, attorneys, social workers, police and judges may be involved in the divorce process.

“The state has two responsibilities,” Joanning said. “The children must be appropriately cared for, and the property reasonably and equitably divided.”

It is often difficult for the state to determine if one parent is using the children as a weapon against the other, however.

Joanning said, “That happens when there are marital problems that aren’t resolved. The children become shuttlecocks.”

Mediation may solve such issues, Keoughan said, but the practice is not mandatory here.

“Arizona has institutionalized that process,” Joanning said. “They use an advocate or mediator. It keeps it from becoming a litigation procedure. It takes the heavy emotions out of it, and they have mediators help them.”

Keoughan said, “(Anger) may be what you are feeling, but this is what you need to do to help you through that feeling.”

Joanning added, “If a party chooses divorce, they are actively rejecting each other.”

A handout, along with a copy of a professional article authored by the presenters that detail material covered in the workshop will be provided. The handout and publication include detailed reference sections.

Joanning received his Ph.D. from the University of Iowa in counseling with emphasis in marriage and family therapy in 1973. From 1974 to 1987 he worked at Texas Tech University as founder and director of the Marriage and Family Therapy Doctoral Program and as a psychologist in the University Counseling Center.

From 1987 until he retired in 2002, Joanning worked as professor and director of the Marriage and Family Therapy Doctoral Program at Iowa State University.

Keoughan received her master’s degrees in counseling and personnel services from Drake University in 1987 and her Ph.D. from Iowa State University in marriage and family therapy in 1993. She has extensive experience in the mental health profession, including mental agencies, psychiatric hospitals and private practice.

Keoughan was an instructor in the department of counselor education at Iowa State University, and is presently an instructor at the University of South Alabama.

As a professional couple, Keoughan and Joanning have presented at state, regional and national professional conferences and have published numerous articles in professional journals. They have conducted an extensive private practice in marriage and family therapy over the last 13 years.

Reservations are requested for the lecture. Call (251) 928-8133, or e-mail usabc@usouthal.edu to reserve your seat. To learn about other programs offered at USA Baldwin County, visit http://baldwincounty.southalabama.edu.