Have you ever had someone advise you to walk away from your past; to rise above the way you were raised, escape from being a prisoner of past circumstances?

Accept what the past contains and hold an account for the important events that took place. Good memories can add to a positive self-concept. Destructive dialogue—or what you tell yourself that others believe—can negatively affect you.

Parents, know your history, evaluate where you have been, and make appropriate decisions about where you are going. Whether you were poor growing up, abused as a child or bullied by others, don’t use your past as an excuse for present behaviors. In order to set clear examples for your children, you must find your authentic self. Seek the opportunities in life that create passion and vision for you to feel successful and worthy of a fulfilled life.

Do you wonder, “Is there more out there for me?” Are you living your life to the fullest? Reflect on the significant people in your life who have been pivotal in shaping your decisions and creating the key elements needed to help you take control of your life and your future.

I recently heard a coach say to his softball team: “Hard work beats talent…when talent doesn’t work hard.” Sometimes people are gifted in numerous areas, but allow self dialogue to convince them they are not worthy or capable of being all they can be; then they fail to execute and demonstrate the hard work needed to rise above obstacles.

Internal factors can encompass things you tell yourself and believe about. If you make choices that are not good for you, you can always select different choices later. If you believe you are incompetent and worthless, you will live as though it is true. Remain open-minded; don’t abide by fixed or limited beliefs that keep you from understanding yourself and others better or accepting change in your life.

Taking control of what we believe and feel about ourselves is paramount to living healthy lifestyles and setting positive examples. Being able to challenge our thoughts, attitudes, behavior patterns and life circumstance may not be easy, but definitely will make us stronger and more prosperous individuals. Building a strong self-confidence is important. When faced with crisis, sometimes we only have ourselves to fall back on. 

Dr. Sonya Rogers is a certified counselor who lives in Daphne. 

Her column appears regularly in the Daphne Bulletin and Spanish Fort Sun.